I’ll Call You Right Back!

From the desk of Savannah J

Earlier tonight, my son and I were having a conversation about how times have changed in regards to people keeping their word. I remember a time when in the course of a conversation, all someone had to say was, “You have my word on it,” shake hands and it was as good as done. That was because their word meant something to them and so it was easy to keep their word to someone else.

How many times has someone made you a promise or maybe you needed them to be there for you and they let you down. Perhaps you were the culprit in the situation and uttered words you had no intention of keeping or following through on.

I recently made a phone call to a friend because my heart was hurting and I really needed to talk. She listened for a couple minutes and then told me she needed to complete a task and would call me right back. Well, that was at least five months ago. Needless to say, she never called me back. Call it what you will, but I refused to call her again. This was not the first time she had done this to me; the last disappointment was just a time too many.

When I give someone my word to help out or return a call, I remember how many times, I’ve waited for a returned call that never came. Or a much needed favor that never came to be. Many times the favor was important. This encourages me to keep my word no matter how small the favor.

Since the time my friend disappointed me, my faith has grown and I’ve come to understand what my mother meant each time she told me that God would never disappoint. I’ve learned that she was exactly right, He never slumbers or sleeps. If I need to talk with someone, He won’t put me on hold, or promise to get right back with me and not follow through.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying, we don’t need each other; I’m just saying, Jesus is always available. If you ever need someone to talk with or just listen, He’s just a prayer away.

I’m also taking it a step further and saying, if we give someone our word, be it to do a favor or just be a listening ear, follow through. Lets get back to the way things were and become people of our word. Lets get back to the days of yore when we not only had respect for others but for ourselves as well.

The next time someone calls and needs to talk be there and be present, you never know, you just may help save a life. If you are in need and no one has the time to be there, remember Jesus is always available and He will never utter the words, “I’ll call you right back.”

Until we meet again, be safe and God’s blessings!

Savannah J

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Booty Shake!

From the desk of Savannah J

Good evening family. I have recently been pondering this latest phenomenon among young ladies called twerking or ratcheting. I call it the booty shake. When I think on this, I wonder what possess these beautiful young women and makes them believe they have to bend over for a young man and shake their butts to gain attention. I’m really taken aback when I see them bend over and touch the ground giving full access to something that should be reserved only for a man who truly loves them.

Now, I don’t have a daughter but I do have a son and I would be appalled if I knew he was somewhere witnessing this twerking. I won’t say, I pray I’ve raised him better because I know I have; what I will say is, I hope he’s heard me. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I must say I believe we’ve dropped the ball somewhere along the line in raising and mentoring our daughters.

It is imperative that we recapture the attention of our young women and instill in them a sense of pride. But we must remember as we endeavor to minister goodness to their spirits, they are watching us. That being said; ladies we must be the person we’d like for them to be. Gentlemen, you must treat your significant other, mother, sister, auntie, cousin and above all your daughter the way you want her to be treated by another man.

I have a young niece who happens to be a freshman in college and I am very proud of her. I can honestly say because of the way she was treated by my brother from an early age, she has a strong sense of self esteem. She is comfortable being picky about dating and is more focused on her future than finding a ‘boy-friend.’ Now, please don’t get me wrong, I’m by no means saying my family is perfect or beyond failure. I’m just saying, I applaud my brother for doing the best he could in the raising of my niece and now his hard work has paid off.

If our young women were pampered and treated like princesses by their fathers, step fathers, uncles, older cousins, etc, I believe no one in the world could make them bend over and shake their butts. I believe we’d have a whole different spin on dating, marriage and less divorce. I believe we’d have a class of young women who hold themselves in the highest esteem; therefore their young men would.

Please join me in the quest to save our young women by starting wherever you are. Maybe like me you don’t have a daughter but you have family and friends. You have neighbors and church members; start there. Be a mentor and example to the young ladies around you. Speak words of encouragement and blessings to them. Take an interest in them and what they have to say. If we begin where we are and use what we have, our little will become much.

Until we meet again family, be safe and God’s blessings!

Ciao!

Savannah J

Just a Step Mother

From the desk of Savannah J

This past December 18th marked the 15th anniversary of the death of my son or as society refers to him, my step son. He died at the age of 17 as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident. For five long weeks, my now ex-husband and I made the hour and a half drive that it took to visit with him. We would go down on every Friday afternoon after getting off from work and stay until Sunday night. For the entire five weeks that he lay in the trauma unit, he never regained consciousness but remained on life support.

The doctors and nurses did all that they could to save his life but his injuries were too severe. I was told during that time, that my job was to support my husband and be there for him in whatever capacity needed. Now, here in lies the interesting piece; very few people verbalized or even acknowledged, I may be in pain as well.

My (step) son had lived with us along with my birth son. I washed his stinky underwear and socks along with my birth son’s. When I cooked, I cooked for everybody. If he needed a ride, or was sick or needed money, I took care of him too. I’m not saying all was rosy and peachy but we were a family, yet my pain rarely acknowledged.

When well meaning family and friends would ask about my (step) son’s progress, he was referred to as my husband’s son. On occasion when I just couldn’t take anymore, I’d correct them and let them know he was mine too. Now, you may be wondering where I’m going with all of this; well, I’ll tell ya.

There are many hard working, excellent parenting, self-less step parents out there and we deserve to be acknowledged as a part of our children’s lives and not seen as bystanders. When our (step) children hurt, we hurt. When they are happy, we are happy. They are just as much a part of our lives and live as deeply in our hearts as our birth children.

Each December since my (step) son’s death I have a difficult time. At the beginning of the month, I find myself  sad and crying and although I feel this way yearly, it takes me a minute to figure out what’s wrong with me. Around the middle December, just before the anniversary of his death, I reach out to my ex-husband. I phone him and burst into tears at the sound of his voice. We usually don’t talk very long; I just need to speak with someone who loved our son the way I did.

There are those who attempt to find the words to say to help me feel better but ultimately, I find myself trying to explain that even though I’m just a step mother, I loved my (step) son as my own. So, it’s easier to phone my ex and cry on his shoulder, knowing he understands.

If there is someone in your circle who has been blessed with the role of parenting a child they did not birth, please offer them your support. And know that if God forbid something happens to that child, they will want to be acknowledged as more that just a step mother/father.

Until we meet again, be blessed and Happy New Year!

Savannah J