On Being Single

Still waters from South Carolina

There was a time in my life when I obsessed over  being alone. My obsession was fueled by the comments of others such as “maybe you’re supposed to be single.”  I set out on a quest to prove them wrong.  But now that has changed. I’ve learned to be content in the state I’m in. (Philippians 4:11)

My journey to contentment began when an acquaintance told me a story of a woman who married her life partner at age 60. At the time she told me that story, I was 53 years old. She went on to liken my situation with the woman in the story. I was infuriated. Her statement caused me such trepidation my mission became to meet, date and marry my intended immediately.

I belabored the topic of my singleness to whomever would listen. Consternation gave my voice a whiny-tone and eventually, the listener’s eyes would glaze over. With each passing year, I became more focused on meeting my goal. One day, however, I began to change. The change came gradually and when I think about it, I’m not sure when it started. I just know, I’m okay now.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned to embrace me for who I am. I appreciate my outspokenness coupled with knowing when to remain silent. My gray hair in my eyes is a sign of wisdom and I wear it proudly. When I look in the mirror, I see an intelligent, beautiful, slightly flawed almost 60 year old with much to give this world. In other words, I no longer need to be married to fulfill a void. I am complete in and of myself.

To all my sisters out there; single and married, I wish you the same peace I’ve found. Within us, we possess all we need to make this journey called life an incredible one. No one person can complete us, we have been complete since birth.

Ciao!

Savannah J, providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

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An old man’s side-piece. (I don’t think so)

Rose On Wood BW

The following blog is my thought based solely on an encounter I experienced. It is in no way intended to insult or offend. It is merely my expression of how I was made to feel as a result of the interaction between myself and an older gentleman.  

I had an interesting encounter on a train ride a couple weeks ago. I was assigned a seat next to an older gentleman. All seemed to be going well with our ride until he decided to engage me in conversation. The conversation started off fine enough and then, he digressed and began to flirt. Initially, I attempted to divert the conversation to the usual, “how’s the weather” sort of thing. He’d participate for awhile and then would startup with how attractive I was and how much he enjoyed talking with women. After some time, I grew disgusted. I leaned into him and explained that he needed to stay in his lane, if you will.

With my posture as well as my words, I informed him, I was not nor would I ever be interested in him; after all he’d admitted he was married. I’m not quite sure who the women were he was used to entertaining, but believe you me, I’m not the one. First of all he’s married and that alone is a deterrent for me. Secondly, even if he weren’t married, he was too many years my senior. Now, what disturbed me most about our encounter, was this man’s insistence on having what I felt was an inappropriate conversation.

His mannerisms were quite juvenile, almost teenage like, if you will. He would giggle every now and again and start talking about the women he enjoyed talking with as if I was supposed to be impressed. He even suggested we have lunch. As I listened to him jibber-jabber on, I wondered when or if he’d ever realize his behavior was out of line. Here was a man who was obviously in his late 70’s, still attempting to woo women half his age.

I believe what I found most disturbing about my experience with this man, is the fact he admitted he was married, yet obviously found no qualms with seeking my company. He shared that his wife was unwell and I wondered where was his loyalty to her. I could have made the excuse for him in my mind, he was lonely and seeking companionship (bless his heart). However, I’m wise enough to know his behavior was nothing new.

I’m currently single but when the man God has promised to me comes into my life, he’ll know beyond a shadow of doubt, loyalty, trust and honesty are priorities on my relationship list. And that goes for when we’re apart as well as together.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Suddenly Single

Hot air balloon

It’s spring in the Old Dominion and I find myself suddenly single; well maybe not suddenly single but single non-the-less. In all actuality, I’ve been single for quite some time now. I once heard a young lady who is also single say, she couldn’t decide if it was harder to be single in the fall/winter or spring/summer. I agree.

I’m a part of a wonderfully close-knit family. Within my family, I’m a part of a small circle of about seven cousins, and we are also like best friends. The interesting thing is, the other six are all in long term committed relationships; I’m the only one who is not. For most women, a situation like mine may pose a problem. It could cause one to wonder, what is wrong with me? Why is everyone in my circle in a committed relationship and I’m not?

There was a time in my life when I would have questioned my desirability as a woman, but praise be to God, I’ve grown. I’m now comfortable with myself and enjoy my own company. I don’t mind going to events alone although, I appreciate the company when available. I’ve learned not to compromise myself or my beliefs, just to have a date. I would rather be alone, than to settle.

My new state of mind wasn’t easy to come by; it required work and determination. It took learning to appreciate my own beauty for what it is, and embracing my femininity. Self esteem, self worth, and self confidence can not be taught. We can receive all the praise in the world, but until we choose to accept and value ourselves, those compliments fall on deaf ears.

To my sisters, (and brothers too) out there who find yourselves suddenly single or like me, you’ve been single for quite a few years, I say don’t despair. Take your eyes off of your circumstances and look beyond yourself. There is so much beauty around you to appreciate. Find something that brings you joy on a daily basis and concentrate on it. When you begin to see beyond yourself and open yourself to Spirit, the things you desire will come; even a mate.

I truly believe what we think as well as speak comes to pass. If we think good thoughts and fill ourselves with joy, I believe we attract that which we desire. In other words, I believe the Law of Attraction is real. Right now, I’m believing for some pretty incredible things. My cousins are believing for me and tell me my mate is on his way; that would be fantastic. But in the meantime, I’m content as I am. A mate would be icing on my cake. My life and perspective on my life is my cake and it tastes pretty good. To have someone to share my life with will only add more sweetness to it.

Now, I’m not saying I want to spend my life alone, because I don’t, I’m saying, I don’t obsess with being alone. I’m using my quiet time to grow me and develop a closer relationship with Spirit, my family and friends. As I said earlier, if you find yourself alone, be encouraged. Focus your thinking on what you desire, fill your heart with joy and embrace life to the fullest and soon your dreams will manifest right before your eyes.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g