I left the music world and attended nursing school. Once I completed nursing school, I made a bee-line as my mother used to say for Richmond, Virginia. My plan was to get as far away as possible from my troubles and begin a new life. In my haste to start over, I failed to realize I couldn’t outrun my troubles. My mother tried to convince me to stay home and get a job there until I was on my feet but I just wanted to get away.
After a few years here, I married and had a son; my greatest gift from God next to His Son and salvation. My marriage didn’t last and I found myself a single mother. Single motherhood was a challenge but I embraced it fully; my son was and still is the love of my life. I formed relationships in Richmond but because I was depressed, I attached myself to unhealthy friendships. That old saying, “misery loves company,” is so true. I found myself making poor financial decisions as well.
In the midst of all of my struggles, it seemed my singing career completely dried up. I sang at church but not in the way I had in Delaware. The interesting thing is, I never thought it was me. I thought God had closed the door to my artistic outlets completely. I failed to grasp the fact, I was reaping the harvest of my decisions. It was me who decided not to attend Boston University and pursue my dreams, not God. And because God gives us free will, He didn’t intervene when I made my choice. The fact I was no longer using my gift, sent me further into unrest. I became anxious, grouchy and moody.
As the years passed, my inner turmoil proliferated. I was searching for peace but I didn’t realize the peace I sought was with me all along. You see, God never left my side, he was just waiting on me. I’d grown up in church and knew the Word of God, but as my mother would often tell me, I needed to know God for myself. In other words, I needed a personal relationship with Him. My time of reckoning would come on the heels of the death of a very close cousin.
Savannah J, providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life.
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