The day I entered nursing school I was determined to give it my best. There were things I had to participate in as a part of class I ordinarily wouldn’t do, but I told myself, just take a deep breath and get through it. After completing the course work, I graduated and found a job.
My first job rotation was in adult nursing although it really wasn’t for me. I knew from the beginning, I wanted to work with children but our instructors felt all new nurses should work with adults. I lasted about six months. During this time, I still kept my music up as best I could, singing at church and doing concerts when asked. It wasn’t what I wanted but it was something.
I remember my mother and others telling me how talented I was. It made me wonder why I wasn’t singing professionally if I were so gifted. Granted, I’d chosen a different path when deciding on a college, but I never stopped trying to make a name for myself.
There was a period in my medical career when nursing seemed more of a chore than something I enjoyed. After the birth of my son, my ambivalence increased; in my mind and heart, I was trapped. I would often watch professional singers on TV with envy; that was supposed to be my life. What had happened to my dream? Was this a desire I was destined to be denied? And then, years later the unthinkable happened.
I was stricken with a virus that left the right side of my body weakened. I could no longer sing with the power I was used to possessing. I remember trying to explain to my family and friends after I recovered, the struggle that ensued when I tried to sing, but to no avail. They felt I was being lazy; that I didn’t want to sing any longer. And so, I felt alone.
As time passed my ability to sing decreased even more, but something unexpected was about to take place. I had enrolled in college to get my degree in nursing and my english professor suggested I take up writing. I remember him telling me I had talent I should pursue a writing career and me thinking he’d lost his mind.
Five years would pass after the statement by my college professor before I put pen to paper. I received much opposition from some family and friends. I almost gave up until a cousin gave me some words of wisdom. I was telling her about comments being made that I was a singer and nothing more. She looked at me and said, “some people are multitalented.”
Since that time, I’ve written and independently published five titles. No, I’m not taking broadway by storm as I dreamed I would, but I’m creating and that’s what matters. I plan on taking voice lessons and acting lessons soon. The way I see it, perhaps my dream wasn’t deferred after all. Perhaps it was just redefined.
My mother use to tell me, a famous painter named Grandma Moses didn’t begin painting until she was in her eighties. I’m saying that to remind you and me, it’s never too late to start or start again. I intend to go after mine and I encourage you to do the same because not all dreams are deferred, some are just transformed.
As always, I hope my thoughts encourage you.
Savannah J. providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life.
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