Memories

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It’s interesting how death removes our loved ones from our physical presence but cannot steal our memories. That being said, I’ve found myself missing my oldest sister quite a bit lately. She passed away seventeen years ago this coming May. She was one of my mentors and “The Wind Beneath My Wings” on many occasion.

As I grow and continue to develop into who I was created to be, I’m doing some pretty amazing things. With each accomplishment I’ve wanted  to run to the phone and call “Sister;” (that was her family nickname) and share. But alas, I can’t. (Her given name was Mary. For the sake of confusion, I’ll use her given name.)

My sister, Mary was a remarkable woman and I’m not just saying that because she was my sister. There are many who can attest to my opinion. She touched so many lives during her short stay here on earth. For me, next to my mother, Mary was my biggest cheerleader. In her eyes there was nothing I couldn’t achieve.

I often joke by saying if I told Mary, I wanted to build a ladder to the moon, she would reply, you can do it! There was nothing I could say or do that would cause her to judge or think ill of me. I would often call her and pour my heart out, sharing my hopes, dreams and disappointments. I never felt sharing with my sister was a mistake.

Not only do I miss her presence, I miss her wisdom. My sister’s advice to my quandaries was priceless and her suggestions always proved to work. I’m so thankful, although death removes our loved ones from our physical presence, it can’t steal our memories. My time with my sister is planted ineradicably in my mind and heart where I can visit with her whenever I like. For that, I’m grateful. My sister died young, so I say to you cherish your loved ones every day. Remember tomorrow isn’t promised.

As always, I hope my thoughts encourage you.

Ciao!

Savannah J. providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life.

http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com

Follow Savannah on Twitter http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o

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Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

 

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Just a Step-Mother

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Today when I heard the news of the death of, Beau Biden the son of, Vice President Joe Biden, my heart grew heavy for the Biden family. I was already feeling sad for a close friend in the loss of a daughter. And as I thought of these two families grappling with the death of a child, my mind turned to my Adren.

We buried him back in 1996 and still my heart hurts at the loss of him. I remember when we found out Adren’s death was inevitable, a co-worker pulled me aside and offered some advice. Now, what she said may sound cruel, but she was exactly right in her thinking. You see, Adren was my step-son and even though I loved him as my own, my co-worker wanted to prepare me for the reactions and comments I’d receive from people when they learned of his death. She said to me, remember, you’re just a step-mother.

Her words meant, it doesn’t matter that you helped raise him, did his laundry, cooked his meals, drove him around and helped him with his homework; people will not see you as his mother because you didn’t birth him. She was exactly right. When people found out that Adren wouldn’t make it, their question was how is your husband’s son. When he died, the question became, how is your husband holding up.

Looking back, I realize very few people outside of my now ex-husband, immediate family and a few close friends understood that I hurt too. What those who didn’t see my pain don’t know is, I still struggle. It’s been almost twenty years since, Adren died and each year around the time of his death, its tough for me. My ex-husband looks for a call at that time with me usually balling on the other end of the phone. We’ve gone from phone calls to hanging out just to get me through.

There are many other men and women out there who’ve taken on the role of loving a child not naturally theirs as if he/she were their own. They provide that child or children with a stable loving home and guidance well into their adult years. You see, not all step-parents are wicked, some of us are loving.

I applaud all step-parents out there making a difference. Keep doing what you’re doing and remember you are so much more that just a step-parent. To someone you are their everything.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

My Cup Overflows

cup overflow

Part 5:

I left the music world and attended nursing school. Once I completed nursing school, I made a bee-line as my mother used to say for Richmond, Virginia. My plan was to get as far away as possible from my troubles and begin a new life. In my haste to start over, I failed to realize I couldn’t outrun my troubles. My mother tried to convince me to stay home and get a job there until I was on my feet but I just wanted to get away.

After a few years here, I married and had a son; my greatest gift from God next to His Son and salvation. My marriage didn’t last and I found myself a single mother. Single motherhood was a challenge but I embraced it fully; my son was and still is the love of my life. I formed relationships in Richmond but because I was depressed, I attached myself to unhealthy friendships. That old saying, “misery loves company,” is so true. I found myself making poor financial decisions as well.

In the midst of all of my struggles, it seemed my singing career completely dried up. I sang at church but not in the way I had in Delaware. The interesting thing is, I never thought it was me. I thought God had closed the door to my artistic outlets completely. I failed to grasp the fact, I was reaping the harvest of my decisions. It was me who decided not to attend Boston University and pursue my dreams, not God. And because God gives us free will, He didn’t intervene when I made my choice. The fact I was no longer using my gift, sent me further into unrest. I became anxious, grouchy and moody.

As the years passed, my inner turmoil proliferated. I was searching for peace but I didn’t realize the peace I sought was with me all along. You see, God never left my side, he was just waiting on me. I’d grown up in church and knew the Word of God, but as my mother would often tell me, I needed to know God for myself. In other words, I needed a personal relationship with Him. My time of reckoning would come on the heels of the death of a very close cousin.

Ciao!

Savannah J, providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

My Cup Overflows

cup overflow

Part 4.

My young adult years were filled with the same wonder and adventure of others my age on the path of self discovery. I entered college with the goal of becoming a Broadway singer. I was accepted into Boston University on a scholarship, with the opportunity to intern in New York City but declined attending there and instead chose Ohio State University. This would prove to be the beginning of a few bad choices I would make over the course of my young adult years. Things didn’t workout for me at Ohio State but I eventually landed an audition with The Peabody Institute at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. Attending The Peabody Conservatory was a dream come true for me, but I wasn’t prepared.

During my high school years, my teachers took a great interest in me and my talents. I was given extra time and attention and even assisted in securing a spot with a choir set to tour Europe. The summer of my senior year I was privileged to sing before audiences in five European countries as soloist with that choir. I took talent to Peabody but I didn’t have the academic preparation for an all music setting. There are certain courses one must take prior to attending conservatory, but I hadn’t done so. Mostly because I didn’t have access to those classes. I also didn’t have the fight and determination then that I now have and so when the going got tough, I gave up.

The years of being bulled and picked on during my youth after Dad died taught me to retreat instead of push forward. I was timid, browbeaten and easily intimidated. Rather than fight for myself, I took the path of least resistance. My mother was there ever encouraging me to fulfill my dreams, but I just didn’t have the fortitude or tenacity. I came home from Peabody after a two year struggle and picked another career path. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I needed a job. It seemed my hopes and dreams as a creative were over, but God was right there in the midst with me. Although I had all but given up on my artistic future, God had a plan.

Ciao!

Savannah J, providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

My Cup Overflows

cup overflow

My Cup Overflows Part 3

I remember returning to school after my father transitioned and thinking, “my dad is dead and no one cares. Life around me went on as usual and it seemed as though I became invisible.  I was transferred to a new school; one I could walk to since my father was no longer alive to take me. You see, as stated in my  previous blogs, Dad took me to school and picked me up daily.

The students in my new class were unfriendly to say the least and I recall one young man in particular spearheading bulling campaigns against me. Under these new circumstances, I not only felt lost, but afraid as well. My emotions ricocheted inside me like a ball in an old fashioned pinball machine; never really knowing where to come to a rest. In essence, I didn’t know how or what to feel. In hindsight, it was apparent, I wasn’t the only one feeling unhinged. My father had many friends and family feeling the impact of his death as deeply as I did.

My mother did an amazing job in the midst of her own trauma and pulled us together as a family. She took me to counseling so that I had a non biased person to talk with. She became an active part of my school’s PTA and upped her participation in my life. Essentially, Mom did her best to become mother and father to us. Despite my mother’s best efforts, my wounds from losing my dad, my hero were too deep.  I succumbed to the negativity around me that came from the outside my home. I was at that age where the opinions of others carry more weight than those of our family.

As a result of my vulnerable state I began a slow decent into the abyss of depression. The ironic thing is, I had no realization, I was depressed. I made a series of decisions over the course of my young adult and adult life that at times cost me dearly, all driven by melancholia. All the while I was lost in the chasm of sadness, it often seemed I was alone. But God!

Ciao!

Savannah J, providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Anatomy of A Stalker: Meet Detective Holmes

one eye Good afternoon. I’m Detective Maurice Holmes of the Chesterfield County Police Department but people just call me Holmes. I was assigned to the case of J. Carter Woodson to solve a stalking situation. I take each of my cases seriously but this one in particular hit close to home.  A dear family member of mine encountered a stalker and lets just say, it didn’t end well, so when I was presented this job, I didn’t hesitate. My first priority is to my client and his loved ones. I want to ensure not only Mr. Woodson’s safety, but that of his beautiful fiancée as well. My second priority is to find that skank stalking Carter or to be professional should I say perpetrator and take her down. I understand there is someone for everyone, and perhaps she felt Carter was her someone, but no means no. What people need to understand is you can’t just push yourself on another human being. Ladies and gents too, if they ain’t interested, they ain’t interested. Take yo monkey-ass on somewhere and keep it moving. With that being said, wrap your mind around this; if you break the law in my jurisdiction and my colleagues and I pursue you, you will go down.  Asha Carrington is an elusive trick but rest assured, I will find her no matter how long it takes. When I do, I’ll ensure she rots in jail for many years to come. 

Ciao!

Savannah J, she adds a little sass in every page.

Carter never dreamed he’d have to look over his shoulder until he met Asha.  A woman with alluring eyes and a mysterious past who is hell-bent on having Carter regardless the cost. Follow Carter Woodson’s harrowing experience with Asha Carrington in The Prey. Now available in eBook on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/1n9IM08  and Google Play Books at: http://bit.ly/S0P7xX. Coming soon to iBooks. The Prey is also available at The Book Nook 912 Canal Street Chesapeake, Virginia. 23323. Ciao! Savannah J, she adds a little sass in every page.  www.thesavannahjpublications.com Follow Savannah on Twitter @savana74

Anatomy of A Stalker: Meet Bre Anderson

one eye

Hello there, my name’s Bre. I’m the fiancee of Matthew Woodson and future sister-in-law of Carter Woodson. Like my fiance, I’m very direct; that being said, I can’t stand Asha. The minute I laid eyes on her on the yacht, I know she was up to no good. It was obvious in the aggressive manner in which she approached Carter at the bar. Asha refused to back down, even though Carter made it clear he wasn’t interested.

You may wonder how I came to my conclusion although I was seated some distance from them. Well, lets just say, I’m a pro at interpreting body language. I observed the entire thing and was two seconds from taking Ms. Thing down.

I,  for one don’t take too kindly to people attacking my family, either verbally or physically. If you want to get a rise out of me, just approach my loved one wrong. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t believe how calm Matthew was once I pointed out Asha’s aggression against, Carter. Perhaps Matthew reacted the way he did to quell any angst Tayrn may have been feeling, but I wasn’t so mindful. I wanted Taryn to see just what Asha was up to. I’m a firm believer one must nip trouble in the bud and with Asha, I intended to do just that.

 

Carter never dreamed he’d have to look over his shoulder until he met Asha.  A woman with alluring eyes and a mysterious past who is hell-bent on having Carter regardless the cost.

Follow Carter Woodson’s harrowing experience with Asha Carrington in The Prey. Now available in eBook on Amazon at: http://amzn.to/1n9IM08  and Google Play Books at: http://bit.ly/S0P7xX. Coming soon to iBooks. 

Ciao! Savannah J, she adds a little sass in every page. 

www.thesavannahjpublications.com Follow Savannah on Twitter @savana74