I recently had a conversation with a relative about a six month relationship she was in that had ended. As we talked, I shared something I’ve observed in successful marriages/courtships. I’ve learned in these relationships there is a natural ebb and flow much like the waves of the ocean or river. Perhaps you’ve stood on the shoreline of the beach or the banks of a river and watched the water as it gently moved.
There is something special in the way the waves of the ocean roll in and then as if on cue, roll back out again. The same can be seen when observing the flow of a river. At times it may seem as if the waters of a river aren’t even moving, but they are; naturally, gently, easily to a larger body of water. I liken the sync between two people who are meant to be together to the ebb and flow of the ocean or river.
I’m not saying happy couples don’t hit rough waters, I just believe the natural rhythm between the two enables them to weather the storms and come out on top. As my cousin and I spoke more, I pointed out to her, this natural ebb and flow isn’t just seen or felt in relationships between men and women. Have you ever met someone who became a new friend because you just hit it off? There is a feeling as if you’ve known them for life? Even in disagreeing, there is harmony. This is the ebb and flow I’m speaking of.
I believe we know in the beginning when a relationship is right for us. I believe we feel that natural rhythm; we feel that we are in sync even though we’ve just met.I also believe we know when it isn’t right. There is an uneasiness and discord that’s felt. I have two best friends that happen to be men. Although, we are only friends, there is an uncanny ease between us, so much so, when I hangout with either of them, people think we’re a couple. Again, it’s this natural flow that I see between couples who are happy.
As my relative and I talked she began to realize her relationship had required extra work from day one. We even went on to talk about friendships we’ve had with women that took so much work, we grew tired and let the friendships go. “I see what you mean,” she eventually said.
I’ve been single for awhile, although I’ve dated. I’ve remained single because I now understand the natural ebb and flow of relationships. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for or expecting perfect. I’m just no longer trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, if you will. And I’m happy to say, I don’t think my relative will either.
Savannah J. providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life.
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