To Argue or Not to Argue . . .

hatchet

I’ve learned that there are some people, who regardless how kind, friendly or patient we are, will always find a way to be difficult. There was a time in my life when I felt the need to stand my ground with such folk; refuse to allow them to push me around. Well, as of late, I’ve changed my stance. Now, I simply shut my mouth and refuse to engage in a word volley.

For years, I entertained the necessity to prove my point, to show these antagonists what I was made of. What stopped me on a dime, was a scripture I read in the Book of Proverbs. I had seen this verse before but it never struck me until recently. I’ve been doing a daily devotional reading of the Psalms and Proverbs and one morning, I awakened to an epiphany in my inner being.

Proverbs 12:16 flew off the page and jolted me upright in bed. I remember thinking, “this is the answer to my problem.”  It reads, “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted,”  You see, I don’t like to argue. I feel arguing is futile, divides family and friends and can often make us look like idiots. It can cause loved ones to become estranged and wound some so deeply, they never recover.

The words in Proverbs 12:16 was the solution I’d been searching for. Now, when someone responds to me with a rude statement or answers a question I pose sarcastically, I remind myself of Proverbs 12:16.

As of late, I’ve been concentrating on inner peace and joy. Ignoring words sent to harm me has been a God send, literally. May I suggest, you try it too? Perhaps you don’t have the same problem I did with folk disrespecting you with their words, if not, I applaud you. If, however, you do, remember Proverbs 12:16 “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”  I promise you your life will be completely different.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Soooo, what just happened?

MP900315598

“There are three types of people in the world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.” I’ve heard the previous quote by the late Mary Kay Ash on more than one occasion. One morning I had a conversation with a co-worker whom I find to be exceptionally gifted and bright. However, as I listened to her words, I found myself placing her in the second category of the late Mary Kay Ash’s quote. Now before you pass judgement on me for presumably passing judgement on her, allow me to explain.

On that morning another co-worker had been called into our supervisor’s office and offered a promotion. For the sake of clarity, I’ll call her Co-worker B, and the other Co-worker A. Following Co-worker B’s disappearance into our supervisor’s office, Co-worker A became consumed with curiosity as to what the talk between Co-worker B and our supervisor was about. “The talk” was the hot topic of the morning as Co-worker A, two others and I walked to our cars after completing our night shift. When I spotted Co-worker B headed toward her car, Co-worker A waited to inquire from her as to what had “happened.” Well, as I previously said, Co-worker B had been offered a promotion.

A third of the way into my drive home, my phone rang, it was Co-worker A. She was beside herself with anger about Co-worker B’s offer. She was upset because she herself had asked to apply for the promotion and was told she didn’t qualify. Her rant went on for the remainder of my drive and then some. Co-worker A was upset because she felt disrespected and walked over. She felt that all her hard work, coming in on days we were short to help out and attending numerous meetings was all for naught. No one noticed; no one cared. All her toiling was futile.

As I listened to her, I came to realize she was waiting for acknowledgement and opportunities to be given to her. Now, sometimes that concept works and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m not trying to make light of her situation because I know her character and how hard of a worker she is. I know all she said is truth. The picture I’m trying to paint here is, how this gifted, talented, and intelligent woman was watching things happen instead of saying, the heck with this, I’m going to grab the bull by the horns and make something happen for me!

I’ve come to understand we have everything we need to succeed already on the inside of us, all we have to do is tap into it. After listening, I suggested to Co-worker A, that she take her talents and resources and carve out a future for herself instead of waiting for something to happen. At the end of our conversation, Co-worker A agreed with me; not only did she agree, she took action.

So many times in life, we sit silently by and allow opportunity to slip away. Instead of going after our dreams we allow them to grow dust. We not only watch things happen, we wonder what happened. I, too, have been guilty of this. As of a couple years ago, I made the decision to take steps to make things happen in my life. Now, I’m a firm believer that God has the final say, but James 2:26 that says  “. . . faith without works is dead.”

I don’t believe God wants me sitting idly by waiting for opportunity to fall in my lab, I believe we have some control of our future and it’s up to us to set our goals and execute. It’s up to us to make things happen!

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

“Don’t Give It Life.”

Daybreak by Michael

I was talking with my brother a couple of days ago about a situation that had come up in my life. I decided to pray about it and leave it in God’s hands. When speaking with my brother, he of course agreed. We share the belief, our words and thoughts have power. For instance, I’m not one to talk about my health unless it’s in a positive light. Were you to ask me how I’m doing, my response will be, “I’m well,” because I believe in responding in that manner, I affirm my good health. I claim Divine health and healing although my pain level on a daily basis is rarely less than a three on a scale of one to ten. They say, I have arthritis.

On my most painful days, my pain level is usually an eight. Rather than “give life” to the situation raging in my bones, I choose to take something and spend time alone where I close my eyes and see myself as whole. I believe beyond a shadow of doubt, the same Jesus who healed over two thousand years ago, still heals today.

In my conversation with my brother, he quoted my niece. The saying, “don’t give it life,” is hers; her way of speaking only positive outcomes to whatever arises by not allowing negative words or thoughts to dominate the situation. I like that. How many times have we said something and watched it happen. For example, “If I eat this, I know it’s going to make me sick, but I’m eating it anyway.” Only to spend the next twenty four hours in agony. Or we speak something over someone else’s life and watch our words come to pass. Lets face it, whether we accept it or not, our words and thoughts have power.

I’ve had co-workers tell me I’m falling apart because I catch a cold or they can tell I’m in pain. I quickly correct them; I’m not falling apart nor do I plan on falling apart. The Bible in Psalm 103:5 tells me, the Lord will satisfy my desires with good things so that my youth is renewed like the Eagles. (paraphrased) That is how I choose to live my life.

I’m not one to push my beliefs or opinions on others, but if I’ve shared something here today that you can glean and be blessed from, please own it. I had another co-worker tell me, he admired me for my way of positive thinking, but it doesn’t work. My response to him was, it doesn’t work for whom? Because it works for me. My plan is to continue to foster positive thoughts and words, even when it’s a struggle to do so. I’d rather live my life seeing the good it has for me than spending time miserable because I dwell on the negative.

When troubles come my way I will pray and then leave the rest to God. I’ll remember as my niece says, “don’t give it life.” 

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Lovin’ The Skin I’m In (make-up free!)

IMG_0512 (1)

Lately, there has been much media attention on young ladies and women who’ve sustained injury due to illegal butt injections gone wrong. Quite a few of those receiving the illegal injections, have died or been victims of severe complications. The sad thing is, they are dying or becoming maimed for no reason at all.

The women and young ladies I’m speaking of, have fallen victim of the latest rage; that is having a big booty. We see these booty’s everywhere; in videos, magazines, and on TV to name a few. As a woman who struggled with poor self image as a teen and young adult, I can understand the struggle my sisters now face. It seems now a days, if a woman or girl doesn’t possess a bodacious derriere, she risks not being seen as beautiful by her male counterparts. This leads me to an age old question. Why, do we as women feel we have to measure-up to some ridiculous standard, set by some unknown force, who feels someone died and left them in charge of what is considered beautiful?

Many people blame it on Rappers and Rap videos, but I believe it goes so much deeper and started many years before Rap was ever heard of. I believe the tearing down of a woman’s self image and self esteem dates back to the days of the Old Testament. The convenience of modern media is just a means of perpetuating it.

I remember growing up as a young girl and being ridiculed for my dark skin; later it was my thick lips. My saving grace was I had a mother who taught me to embrace who I was. My struggle as a teen was with my big legs and narrow hips. As an adult the degrading remarks came because, I don’t have the classic bodacious booty most women of color possess.

For quite a few years I struggled with the fact, my buttocks were not as round and firm as some of my sisters. To add insult to injury, I was even slapped on the butt and called “flats” on more than one occasion by men as well as women of different races. One day. however, I had an awakening. On that day, I embraced (as my mother taught me), the woman I am. I am a strong, intelligent, confident, vivacious and beautiful woman and I stand in all the glory of who God created has me to be.

My sisters everywhere. I challenge you to dare to be who you are. I challenge you to embrace every inch of your body, however you’re shaped and declare yourself to be beautiful, because you are. We don’t need a big butt or big boobs for that matter to be beautiful. The Bible states in Proverbs 30:31 (Amplified Version) “Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!” Physical beauty is vain because 9 times out of 10, it doesn’t last!

Sister’s we must embrace, nurture and love ourselves as a whole, striving to become the best us we can be. As we age, it’s our inner beauty that will shine the brightest. It’s this inner woman who will fulfill all we are destined to be. I’ve included a link to Colbie Caillat’s song “Try” on YouTube; it’s of my favorite videos. (click here>) “Try” by Colbie Caillat

I hope the video and what I’ve said here will encourage you to love yourself just as you are. Be blessed!

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Just a Step-Mother

Balloons

Today when I heard the news of the death of, Beau Biden the son of, Vice President Joe Biden, my heart grew heavy for the Biden family. I was already feeling sad for a close friend in the loss of a daughter. And as I thought of these two families grappling with the death of a child, my mind turned to my Adren.

We buried him back in 1996 and still my heart hurts at the loss of him. I remember when we found out Adren’s death was inevitable, a co-worker pulled me aside and offered some advice. Now, what she said may sound cruel, but she was exactly right in her thinking. You see, Adren was my step-son and even though I loved him as my own, my co-worker wanted to prepare me for the reactions and comments I’d receive from people when they learned of his death. She said to me, remember, you’re just a step-mother.

Her words meant, it doesn’t matter that you helped raise him, did his laundry, cooked his meals, drove him around and helped him with his homework; people will not see you as his mother because you didn’t birth him. She was exactly right. When people found out that Adren wouldn’t make it, their question was how is your husband’s son. When he died, the question became, how is your husband holding up.

Looking back, I realize very few people outside of my now ex-husband, immediate family and a few close friends understood that I hurt too. What those who didn’t see my pain don’t know is, I still struggle. It’s been almost twenty years since, Adren died and each year around the time of his death, its tough for me. My ex-husband looks for a call at that time with me usually balling on the other end of the phone. We’ve gone from phone calls to hanging out just to get me through.

There are many other men and women out there who’ve taken on the role of loving a child not naturally theirs as if he/she were their own. They provide that child or children with a stable loving home and guidance well into their adult years. You see, not all step-parents are wicked, some of us are loving.

I applaud all step-parents out there making a difference. Keep doing what you’re doing and remember you are so much more that just a step-parent. To someone you are their everything.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

Who Am I Really?

MP900398831

For so many years of my life, I’ve struggled with accepting who I am. I guess my reluctance was fueled by the nay-sayers if you will. You know who they are; the well meaning, self proclaimed-realistic folks who are always quick to point out why our ideas or dreams will never work out.

My dream as some of you may know was to take Broadway by storm. I wanted to sing, act and dance. As a child, I could be found one of two places, either on the floor with a book in my hands or in front of a mirror with a hairbrush aka “microphone” (mic) in my hand. I loved to sing and act out plays and stories I made up in my head.

As a creative, my personality was a bit different. I never really felt at home if you will unless, I was with other creatives, in the music/theater department of my high school or in front of a mirror with my mic. And so, I altered my personality so as to not be teased so much for my quirkiness.

To fast forward, I’m at the point in my life where wisdom has taken over and I’ve come to realize the only opinions that matter when it comes to who I really am, are mine and God’s. I’ve accepted my gift of creativity wholeheartedly and completely, along with the traits that make me . . . well me!

I’m animated, silly, passionate, contemplative, an extrovert who is at times withdrawn. I believe everyone next to me in line at the grocery store is comfortable carrying on a conversation. Although, my son who is an introvert, has assured me, not everyone enjoys talking with strangers. I’ve come full circle and relish in being me!

I don’t believe in “bucket lists,” instead, I have a longevity list because I’m going to need a long life to do everything I have planned. I’m going to take the acting lessons, I’ve always wanted and participate in plays. I plan on taking voice lessons again and joining a local choral. I refuse to be shamed into being someone I’m not just to fit in. My answer to that is, if you are at all bothered by my personality, you have the choice not to hang around me. And I’m perfectly fine with that. I am so in love with this fabulous creative spirit, God placed in me and I’ve never been happier in my life.

Perhaps you can relate to what I’ve been through, maybe you find yourself in that place now. Well, if you are, I say stop right now and fully embrace who you are. You see, we each were created with special gifts and by hiding them we are robbing the world of something very unique and special. We are robbing the world of us. Don’t waste another minute altering yourself to fit into a place you aren’t meant to be. Rise up in all your glorious you and join me in blessing this world with the beauty of who we really are.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g

The Ebb And Flow of Relationships

Still waters from South Carolina

I recently had a conversation with a relative about a six month relationship she was in that had ended. As we talked, I shared something I’ve observed in successful marriages/courtships. I’ve learned in these relationships there is a natural ebb and flow much like the waves of the ocean or river. Perhaps you’ve stood on the shoreline of the beach or the banks of a river and watched the water as it gently moved.

There is something special in the way the waves of the ocean roll in and then as if on cue, roll back out again. The same can be seen when observing the flow of a river. At times it may seem as if the waters of a river aren’t even moving, but they are; naturally, gently, easily to a larger body of water. I liken the sync between two people who are meant to be together to the ebb and flow of the ocean or river.

I’m not saying happy couples don’t hit rough waters, I just believe the natural rhythm between the two enables them to weather the storms and come out on top. As my cousin and I spoke more, I pointed out to her, this natural ebb and flow isn’t just seen or felt in relationships between men and women. Have you ever met someone who became a new friend because you just hit it off? There is a feeling as if you’ve known them for life? Even in disagreeing, there is harmony. This is the ebb and flow I’m speaking of.

I believe we know in the beginning when a relationship is right for us. I believe we feel that natural rhythm; we feel that we are in sync even though we’ve just met.I also believe we know when it isn’t right. There is an uneasiness and discord that’s felt. I have two best friends that happen to be men. Although, we are only friends, there is an uncanny ease between us, so much so, when I hangout with either of them, people think we’re a couple. Again, it’s this natural flow that I see between couples who are happy.

As my relative and I talked she began to realize her relationship had required extra work from day one. We even went on to talk about friendships we’ve had with women that took so much work, we grew tired and let the friendships go. “I see what you mean,” she eventually said.

I’ve been single for awhile, although I’ve dated. I’ve remained single because I now understand the natural ebb and flow of relationships. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for or expecting perfect. I’m just no longer trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, if you will. And I’m happy to say, I don’t think my relative will either.

Ciao!

Savannah J.  providing a place of tranquility away from the stress of life. 

Http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com 

Follow Savannah on Twitter   http://bit.ly/1tBBC6o 

on Google Plus http://bit.ly/1pnq9sP 

and on Facebook http://on.fb.me/10p1o32

Savannah is the author of The Prey now available in eBook on Kindle http://amzn.to/1xg0pgM and on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1q5hncz

Also look for Raising Tristan on Google Play Books http://bit.ly/1pL4GqN and on Kindle http://amzn.to/1AlHl6g